Autism Love Languages

Love is paramount in any romantic relationship.

People often have different ways of expressing their love– colloquially this can be referred to as a love language.

Individuals with autism can have difficulty being emotional or expressing themselves emotionally.

This may be perceived as if they don’t care about the person they’re in a relationship with.

That said, those individuals may simply have a different way of expressing themselves than neurotypical people.

How People with Autism Express Affection

Brain scans have shown that individuals with autism may have different portions of the brain activated when they experience love and affection.

This may mean that while they do have love for a partner, they may express it differently than others.

For example, it may be tough for a person with autism to express their feelings verbally or with touch, so they may show their love through practical acts, such as cleaning the house or ironing a shirt.

Brain scans have shown that individuals with autism have different portions of the brain activated when they experience love and affection.

Autism may make it difficult for the person to look their partner in the eye or say exactly how they’re feeling.

They may also become overwhelmed by sensory sensations throughout the day, so when the evening comes, they feel drained and don’t have the capacity to provide typical acts of love.

However, those feelings may still be there, and they may be very real.

Neurotypical Love Languages

Neurotypical people often abide by Chapman’s Five Love Languages. These are different ways people in romantic relationships express their affection. They include:

1) Words of Affirmation

These manifest as compliments, like telling your partner they look nice or their new haircut looks good.

2) Quality Time

This involves spending time with your partner. You’ll go out of your way to go on a date night or spend the weekend with them.

3) Gifts

Some people provide their partners with extravagant gifts, even when it’s not a special occasion.

4) Acts of Service

Others go above and beyond to ensure their partner is as comfortable as possible. They’ll go out of their way to clean the house or pick up dinner.

5) Physical Touch

Some people require physical touch, like hand-holding.

Neurodivergent Love Languages

Neurotypical love languages may not be reciprocated by individuals with autism.

For instance, neurodivergent individuals may not like being touched, or they don’t have the empathetic capacity to understand why compliments are nice.

The reasoning is wide and varied.

For instance, neurodivergent individuals may not like being touched, or they don’t have the empathetic capacity to understand why compliments are nice.

Instead, neurodivergent people may have different ways of showing they care, and they manifest in different love languages, some of which could be:

1) Infodumping

People with autism may develop niche interests.

As such, when they’re with someone they like, they may do what’s referred to as “infodumping.”

This is when they provide numerous details about a subject all at once because they’re so excited to share what they know.

2) Parallel Play

Parallel play refers to when people are together without necessarily doing the same thing.

One person may read while the other watches television.

The person with autism feels a sense of connection without constantly needing communication.

People with autism may have the capacity to experience profound love, challenging common misconceptions that autism prevents an individual from feeling deeply.

3) Support Swapping

Neurodivergent individuals may feel it necessary to provide and receive support.

For example, they’ll go with a partner to the doctor’s office even when their presence isn’t essential.

They may want to hold hands or create a safe space for open conversations so that their partner understands the support they have.

4) Penguin Pebbling

Penguin pebbling refers to the act of collection small objects and gifting them to a partner.

It shows the neurodivergent individual was thinking about them and wanted them to have a small memento from an experience.

How People with Autism Show Romantic Love

The neurodivergent love languages may be how someone with autism expresses affection.

But what about romantic love?

People with autism may have the capacity to experience profound love, challenging common misconceptions that autism prevents an individual from feeling deeply.